Oh my!!
i hate this feeling.
it rolled over my mind again and again.
now,its back here again.
well, i do know that i am one that is so emotional and so easily affected by anything.
umm,maybe it comes with some "
perasan" as well.
yes, i got so many things yet for me to change.
but, the most important thing is that, i have to get rid of this.
perhaps i have repeated it for times.
yet,i still
couldnt do it.
anytime when some of my friend say something,
ummm...
sometimes i might be unhappy or got hurt,maybe.
my feelings is just like a piece of glass.i wonder why as well.
i know, people
didnt actually did it,but, i might feel it myself.
i am someone that think so so much.
thinks over and over again.
my mind is complicated yet not full with knowledge.
i got the ability and skill to listen to someone,
to advice someone,
to help someone,
to counsel someone,
yet, i
couldnt do it to my
ownself.
a doctor also
couldnt treat himself if he is sick right?
why?
am i really exist in front of them?
or,am i just a shadow for them?
this feeling is so significant, they might not even notice the disappearance of mine.
i sense nothing actually in any of their mind.
its true that they never care about it.
i am just too tiny over here.
sometimes,i might just too envy about those people that got so many friends around them,
always asking them do this together do that together.
but me,only when i am there.
i see the cruel side of the world,of anyone.
its almost like they do not have the sense of sympathy or some sense of guilty treating anyone like that.
its just piercing straight into the heart.
no blood,yet but too hurtful.
i desperately waited for so many things.
hope and hope and hope.
but it never comes.
i am so tired of walking alone.
and,i am afraid to walk alone.
yes,maybe i just some,just a little bit of fame,so that i could know i am actually here,exist.
although i have always thought that i am born here to help peoples in need,
but actually,does anyone really could lend a helping hand to me?
or,lend me a shoulder to lean against when i am sad?
or,give me a hug when i am desperate?
making myself unique is such a hard task, as i knew that i am also a normal guy.
i may have think so differently but,i still have the same feelings as others have.
yeah,sometimes,i may be able to understand what people is trying to pass the message through a drawing,
or i may be able to interpret what are they thinking from what they have drawn.
however,when everything is back to my ownself,
i have no idea of drawing anything,
even if i drew, i might be unable to understand it and make a solution for it.
sigh.
i am a good listener,and some advicer sometimes. but when everything need to be solve,
its all depends back on the person again.
my spirit towards this kind of things still couldnt be hold strongly yet,
and,me myself also dont know when will it happen.
when the time comes,then it will be.
i am so sorry for such a long and boring post.
umm,well,back to my old words,a blog is for someone to write anything including their opinions,daily routine,feelings,thoughts and bla bla bla.
so,forgive me if my post here made you boring.
oh well,i always thought my post will be quite boring.
i just wanted to write it out.
on whether there will be any readers,its up to them.
i dont mind.
if you have the patience to read until this line,
i appreciate it.
sincerely from me,thank you.
