right,
have been going school since yesterday for the last year,
yes, i am sure that is last year of secondary school life.
and,
well, of course,
i need do something else this year with a bit more efforts to be done.
so that?
i do not have to say sorry to myself.
i feel sorry now to myself.
but, you give me one last chance, thank you.
umm, everything didnt change too much as we were like just from year 1 students going into year 2.
so, most of the arrangements do not have much changes.
yeah right,
its been feeling quite far apart from her already,
i dont have the chance of getting near to her or talk to her anymore,
my own problems, is,
too much.
and, i have got so much things to do on my studies.
i am not so smart like hw and ck,
but i knew,
i can go much further if i do it this time,
even i have to sacrifice everything,
yes i mean everything,
i am losing all my games, leisure times, chatting around, slacking around.
not for me anytime.
was banned for that.
aka grounded.
well, i dont mind about that.
as long as i did it at the last 2 month of this year,
my parants would have nothing to complain about me anymore.
i need to prove it already.
yeap.
i couldnt let go of it anymore.
i may have to sacrifice some of my cocurricular activities so that i am able to attend some of my tuition classes.
i need to spend alot things here.
yeap.
although my freedom may be controlled,
but sometimes, just one or two,
i still need to be have outings with my friends to keep our friendship strong right?
maybe i even need to celebrate my birthday on my books as well this time.
LOLz.
***
right, i got one song lyric over for her,
雨淋湿了天空 毁得很讲究
你说你不懂为何在这时牵手
我晒干了沉默 悔得很冲动
就算这次做错也只是怕错过
在一起叫 梦 分开了叫 痛
是不是说没有做完的梦最痛
迷路的后 果 我能承受
这最后的出口 在爱过了才有
能不能给我一首歌的时间
静静的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里 你不用害怕失眠
如果你想忘记我也能失忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪 让它留在雨天
越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点
雨淋湿了天空 毁得很讲究
你说你不懂我为何在这时牵手
我晒干了沉默 悔得很冲动
就算这次做错也只是怕错过
在一起叫 梦 分开了叫 痛
是不是说没有做完的梦最痛
迷路的后果 我能承受
这最后的出口 在爱过了才有
能不能给我一首歌的时间
静静的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里 你不用害怕失眠
如果你想忘记我也能失忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪 让它留在雨天
越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点
你说我不该 不该
不该在这个时候 说了我爱你
要怎么证明我没有说谎的力气
请告诉我 暂停算不算放弃
我只有那一天的回忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间
静静的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的怀里 你不用害怕失眠
如果你想忘记我也能失忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪 让他留在雨天
越过你划的线我定了勇气的终点
你说我不该 不该
不该在这个时候说了爱你
要怎么证明我没力气
告诉我暂停算不算放弃
我说我不该 不该在这时候才说爱你
要怎么证明我没有力气
我只有那一天的回忆
well, i was wondering as well,
why are all these things happening like this?
so coincidently?
i still wonder,
if it was my fault for everything,
i dont want to be far apart from her,
i just want to stay close with her even if i wasnt given a chance,
at least just another smile that i could get so that it cheers up my heart,
but i was thinking so far away,
i wasnt that good as she wanted,
i wasnt that nice as she wanted,
i am just someone which is quite odd,
odd in the way i behave myself,
she controls me,
i dont mind,
but, if it does, i am losing myself.
right,
i know if she reading this,
she will be more unhappy about this,
but i have to take my risk,
yeap, i promise you i will change,
change but remains some personality in me,
well,
anyway, i dont see my significance around you as well,
i just have to stand from far,
looking at you,
thats all i can do.
i dont know is it right for me for telling you all this,
including my feelings,
it drags me far apart from you.
it really pisses me off everyday,
where i have to fight with my feelings and some tonnes of studies to be done.
right.
i felt like want to know everything about you.
i felt like listening to your voice whenever i need you.
i felt like chatting with you every night,
but, fate never comes,
definitely it comes with different kind of factors,
you dont feel it, but i felt it very very much.
sorry.
i have so many things to tell you,
to ask you,
to know from you.
but, i was never allowed.
i am far,
so far away,
another year of hardship to go through,
maybe,
i will be better if you dont ask me that question that time,
yeah, i was avoiding to answer your question that time,
because i know,
once i answered,
i will cause many troubles to myself,
i know.
i really know.
now its the time.
i shouldnt have answered it,
but i need to let you know.
oh, well, umm,
the fate just aint with me.
right.
good luck for you.
sigh.
***
oh, btw, CNY is around the corner,
i was planning making to make some visitings with friends,
well, of course, one with my form5 friends, and another with my current classmates.
if anyone isnt free at any days, please notify for easier arrangement and planning.
thank you.
