yeap, as the title of the topic has said,
perhaps i made the wrong decision this time.

it wasnt a big matter about what kind of thing is it,
its just a matter that the decisions is a little bit related to my love ones,
yes,
it was only a week after the mid sem break,
but i realized i was a little bit not used to the enviroment back in the hostel the day i went back,
i was thinking that maybe i should go home by weekends then,
then it came to thursday when i actually got a call from home saying what happen and so on.
nothing big deal.
but still managed to get to know the something about it.
then i said i was wondering whether to go home or not by weekend since there isnt any extra cocurricular activities by this week but i will have to get back on sunday for zaba's PT.
well, she told me to come back without knowing which day exactly that i should get back to my uni.

and so,
it was me in the house and finally i told them when should i be back to uni.
before this i had also thought about it for quite some time because lets say if i really goes home on day 1 and go back to uni on the following day,
it would be a waste of time, petrol and yes the toll fee.
which is why i wasnt quite happy right now as i actually had a small argument over this small matter.
and now, i dont feel good.
it shouldnt be the way i wanted my house to be.
hardly i felt not so happy about this place.
knowing that my actions are wrong right now,
but the only thing i could do is just wait till the time comes and i'll just get back to uni quietly.
things werent going so well recently.
its been alot of of obstacles.

maybe,
if i would just stay in hostel alone would be much more better compared to the situation right now.
although in hostel i will still be alone and rot and emo myself over there, but then there is one thing that i dont have to worry is that i didnt do anything wrong to this family by asking them to come and fetch me just because i wanted to go back so badly.
but now,
the thing is different,
i made the wrong thing and now i dont really know what to do.
i would feel very bad and guilty if i insist to back uni by tomorrow then.
but if not, i will be letting my team down although i am only a small character in the team,
yet i know every small character plays an important role in it.
well, its a way to pave my way in order to go a little bit further in this journey.

now i am so stuck here,
felt so uncomfortable that i was like only a passers-by that came into this house and borrow a shelter.
i have no mood right now and i dont feel like talking to any of them right now.
because i feel so bad now.
i am so used to talk alot on whats happening in my uni everytime i got back from uni,
but this time,
it wasnt the same,
i would just keep quiet and wait until the time comes,
jeez, i will be having a sleepless night right now,
and i need someone to talk to me so that i dont feel so bad.
damn it.

its a bad bad decision and maybe i would just stay in hostel next time until there is a little more days of holidays for me then i would just get back home.
its so damn not good right now.
argh.