gosh...good that everything went smooth last week as my things go well as time goes well.
class is smooth...and the dinner is okay okay...not to say that its bad...and lastly the convo for my brother went well...its just a bit of rain overthere yesterday...
however,now is the time that felt so depress and desperate...
its like in a sudden, i thought of stopping my school life right now and heads to colleges or whatever.
just not staying here. dont really know or sure that am i suitable here, or am i able to go through here.
its like different world to them.i am just a lone fighter over here.its so saddening that i couldnt have say anything out today. its....no use staying here....
i was wondering actually....should i actually just say bye bye, but then, yes i know many people would just say,try harder and go for it.
yes yes i know,but when the feeling has come to you,its like a phobia.you dont know whether its safe here or not.would it be bright when i step out of school when i got my result 2 years later.
its lost in the ocean.help.help.help.
the things just come every second today. its very hurting. dont know what to do.and,i have no other choice to go for.deeply in the heart,is that,i want to leave here now!no!no!no!not going here anymore.
i am not too good like what you think.i am not too good to score for it.i am just not too good for everything. i want to something,something that i really wanted to do and i am interested in.
yes i know again,you would just say that even when you go over there,you will have the same problem.but now,the fact is that,here,i am actually dying.
does actually anyone know?its very very saddening.i have no where to tell.i have no one to release it out.i have no one to lean on.i have no one to hug me and console me.no one.no one.
no body would ever care,would ever know.this place doesnt exist actually. i am too tiny for this tough thing.
its hard of walking alone here.sad.depress.everything just come to me.dont ask me what else.yes, because i know my standard of english is not as good as anyone of you.
yes yes, you would say since you can console people,why not you console yourself?
but then,think back,when a doctor fall sicks,he never treated himself.he also went to another doctor.
but now,i know my situation.there is no one for me.i have got nothing.thats all i know.
haiz.whatever.
its nothing to me now.
